It is the era of technology wherein there are multiple ways for communication which plays significant part in initial phase of every relationship. In the distress of getting rejected and with the all feelings of excitement, nervousness and expectation we will discuss why it is important to explore idea of “making the first move”. In this article we will discuss why “making the first move” will help initiate deeper exchange of information, feelings, ideas and how it will impact the relationship.
What is Making the First Move?
Making the first move simply means that taking the lead in a possible romantic relationship to let other person directly or indirectly know that you want to have a romantic relationship with them.
Which can be revealed in below mentioned ways,
Communication
As discussed, earlier communication plays very vivacious role in any relationship in many ways, including gestures, body language and eye contact. While maintaining a basis protocols and given respect communication should be initiated in a gentle, natural, and socially acknowledged way. Another person should not know your feeling in an insinuated or uncomfortable way. While initiating a communication initiator should not be in a rush to express feelings. Give it a time, initiator should also know that in the world of love everything is not desirable to be said in words. Occasionally, the people engaged in love or possible relationship already see it coming, that is why we use word chemistry to describe depths and connection of relationship.
When you think there might be some chemistry between you two by analyzing gestures, body language you can ask them on a date. If you are not feeling comfortable or self-assured enough to ask them on date, try to start a typical conversation and sending a message to build a general confidence and trust. Please note without trust you can not move in any relationship. When other person is convinced that she/he will be safe with you then there is a positive chance that you can be in a romantic relationship.
Expressing Love
This is very adventures, difficult and risky part in any relationship. As said earlier everything should not be said in world of love in words, but this is tricky part. It can be debated that while we are talking about “making the first move” whether expressing love comes under the first stages of relationship or not. In my opinion expressing love is a very official part in any relationship. If two people love each other they already know that, if you are spending too much time together as compared to other people in your life then there is a very high possibility that you love each other. In this scenario if you think that you might risk your friendship while uttering love, then in my estimation it is worth risking your non-romantic relationship to be in a romantic, mutually accepted and devoted relationship.
Caring and Empathy
This is very human part of relationship, not many animals on earth care and show empathy as humans doo. As said earlier in debating “making the first move” in any human relationship showing empathy and letting them know that you are worried for them, you care for them and you understand them, you understand their mental state is the ultimate first move. This move is beyond words and is very blissful part of any relationship. This is where the love is born and turn out to be sturdier. When we say not everything in the world of love needs to be said in words, this is what we fundamentally mean.
You can start simply with, how are you? You look worried today! If your relationship is mature/old enough you can initiate a hug or hold hands.
Bringing Them in Your Flow of Life and Planning It Together
This is very matured state of any relationship. Committed or not you can always feel them special by discussing your long-term plans with them, or you can introduce them to your family to build more trust. You can invite them directly or indirectly to be a part of important millstones of your life, from which college to select, to selecting businesses, homes, cars, jobs or even dogs etc.
The Old-Style Way of Making the First Move
It has been said that it is mans duty to take lead in any relationship due to social, financial influence of mans role in structural fabrics of our society. Women were not expected to take lead in this scenario as everything would be done by man, even women would carry name of the man after marriage.
Current social status of all genders is evolving and everyone is encouraged to take initiative.
Why To Make the First Move
- Builds Confidence: Especially women love confident partners who makes the first move. It often builds self-esteem, self-confidence which is good for any human mind.
- Taking a Chance: When taking a risk, taking a chance is very important. Waiting for something to happen itself can close doors to opportunity whereas not taking a chance can close all meaningful relationship.
- Revolutionary Step: Breaking old styles wherein man should be taking initiative verses women taking a lead could be not ordinary but a revolutionary step.
- Setting the Relationship Status: By making the first move you can change your relationship status from complicated to in a relationship or in worst case scenario you can change it from complicated to single.
Why It Is Difficult to Make the First Move
- Rejection: Rejection can lead to many possible outcomes but one of them is mental trauma which could cause low self esteem and even lower self-confidence.
- Misunderstanding: The other person may not know the depth of love and may not be mature enough to process proposal or even your intentions could be questioned.
- Overthinking and Family Influence: With all the risks associated with making the first move cultural differences and family values also can stop from making the first move.
How To Make the First Move
- Be authentic: Keep it natural, express what you actually think and feel.
- Timing: Timing is very important; it should be comfortable to both of you.
- Start early: Start light conversations with light compliments to start deeper conversations.
- Gestures: Read the body language of another person to interpret outcome.
- Celebrate: Whether outcome is positive or negative, note that making the first step is very brave step to celebrate.
When to Stop
While taking lead in below mentioned scenarios it is worth waiting for right time and right person,
- If other person seems to be out of league or not interested enough to commit for a long-term relationship.
- If other person does not seem to be in a financial status, power status to reject your proposal then it is not ethical enough to take advantage of their vulnerabilities.
How to Survive Rejection
Rejection can be depressing part of dating; however, it should be handled in a positive way.
- Accept that rejection doesn’t define who you are
- Celebrate that you made it and the move of worth taking.
- Embrace the rejection and learn from it.
Conclusion
Making the first move is a risk worth taking, we never know where it will lead but it will lead to better understanding of love and relationships.
