An Affair is a word that raises eyebrows even if it enters the ears of members of the social order. It is shamefully and single-handedly famous for starting wars, creating disorder, and breaking romantic relations and many matrimonies. But this is not the only definition of the word affair. Affair is a very complex and multi-dimensional word that is associated with all kinds of romantic relationships including marriages. An affair can be defined as a type of secret relationship for self-gain by betraying existing committed or established relationships. In this article, we will explore types of affairs, causes and costs, and ways to address them.
Understanding Affair
An Affair is typically referred to when people who are married yet choose another partner for a sexual relationship, this relationship is also known as adultery. These relationships thrive on betrayal in exclusive commitments or partnerships such as marriage or long-term romantic relationships.
Types of Affairs
It is said that the word affair is a French word for “to do business”, However over time, the context has changed and now an affair has a definition of something else. Based on the depth of an involved individual, affairs can be categorized as mentioned below,
Sexual Affair: If individuals are involved in sexual relationships outside their actual committed and socially accepted / moral relationships, then this type of affair can be categorized as a Sexual Affair.
- These affairs are intense and are very secret for obvious reasons.
- Involved in Sexual activity with other than a committed partner.
It is important to note that, to be able to be in a sexual relationship, typically individuals have to go through all types of affairs mentioned next, such as emotional, and virtual relationships.
Emotional Affair: If the individuals involved are not in any kind of relationship but are deeply attached emotionally to each other and there is a high chance that they will be involved sexually in the future, then this type of affair can be defined as an emotional affair. It is important to note that an emotional affair is the first stage of an affair. The Definition of an Affair can not be completed without emotional touch.
- These affairs involved two highly emotional individuals seeking external validations for multiple reasons.
- They are not sexually involved yet but may be involved in the future.
Virtual Affair: If individuals are emotionally attached and share explicit images and texts over an online mode of communication, then this affair can be defined as a virtual affair.
- These affairs do not involve sexual activity but involve sharing explicit images and texts generally known as sexting.
- These affairs can happen in long-term relations, between people who do not want to take the risk of being caught.
Work Affairs: Proximity and frequent interactions can trigger these transactions, especially in the corporate world. It can be with anyone in the office.
- These affairs are highly risky as they have grave financial and professional consequences.
- Yet people take these risks due to the comfort these affairs provide.
One Night Stands: We have discussed One Night Stands in this article in detail. These affairs involve single sexual activity between recently met individuals without any emotional touch.
- Affairs can be of many types based on opportunity, and levels of sexual and emotional desires.
- Yet some affairs can be very emotionally, and sexually involved.
Causes of Affairs
Affairs arise due to various factors such as the current emotional, mental, sexual, and social status of an individual. To prevent and resolve affairs we must understand the reasons for affairs,
- Dissatisfaction: This is the major reason for any affair, it can be sexual Dissatisfaction, emotional, or both.
- Low Self-Esteem: A negative image of own abilities, and worth can cause affairs for validation.
- Adventure: Always being new, or always wanting to try something new can cause affairs.
- Impulse: Impulse nature, wanting to try always knew and the behavior of taking too much risk can also cause affairs.
- Communication Gap: Communication issues between two partners can cause affairs, if one partner fails to communicate his/her needs or the other partner fails to understand wants/needs then one partner is going to misunderstand that he/she is unheard.
- Emotional Factors: If one partner feels that he/she is not being loved anymore or ignored in the relationship.
- Lack of Intimacy: If a partner’s sexual wants are not fulfilled completely or two partners have too much gap in their levels of sexual intimacy, then even if they love each other, in the long run, this issue can cause an affair to arise.
- Long Conflict: If any conflict in the relationship is kept unheard of or unresolved, it can cause anger issues with the other partner.
- Peer Pressure: Peer pressure from friends, groups, or social tolerance towards affairs can also be one of the reasons to start an affair.
Costs of Affairs
Affairs can be devastating to individuals and linked families and may have financial and legal complications, let’s find out the costs of an affair,
Victims can have anger issues and may feel betrayed by his/her loved partner.
Due to betrayal from a loved one, the victim can have a loss of emotional security.
Children of couples separated/divorced due to the affair of one of the parents can have mixed feelings of shame, and guilt and may face emotional insecurity throughout their lifetime. Children and other family members can also feel the social humiliation due to an affair. We don’t live in the medieval time but even if times have changed, affected people and families may face unofficially forced social separation due to this dispute.
Victims can face mental issues such as depression and anxiety.
On the other hand, the Committer can feel guilty and shameful.
Committer can also have mental issues such as depression and anxiety due to the possible loss of a primary relationship and financial complications associated with it.
Committer can also think that it is now very difficult to regain the trust of anyone.
As the basic aspect of a relationship which is trust no longer exists, the relationship will cease to exist and will never recover from this betrayal which will lead to separation or divorce, which will have financial implications as well as can affect linked extended family and friends. Trauma caused by these separations can also be devastating in the long term.
In most cases, even at a young age, the victim and the committer (especially the victim) can face challenges in creating new relationships due to trust issues.
How to Prevent & Address Affairs
We cannot change what has already occurred but we can prevent affairs from ever existing or we can effectively address this issue.
Couples should effectively discuss and communicate all types of needs, especially physical and emotional needs and if there is any conflict, this should be handled delicately and fruitfully.
If there is any dispute or issue, same can be resolved by obtaining professional help from a therapist to mediate and find root causes and address them.
In the free world, couples should set and discuss boundaries and should be clear and transparent about their existing relationships and friendships.
Thumb one rule for having the best relationship for couples is that couples should spend as much quality time together but at the same time they should also give the required space and freedom to each other.
If after doing everything, the couples find out that the relationship is not going to work, then they should use traditional ways of separation such as legal divorce instead of finding a solution in an affair, which would be more ethically wrong than settling for a divorce.
Healing for a victim is an important step after realization that your partner has cheated you. Victims should get support from other family members and spend as much quality time with family and friends instead of battling this war alone. Whereas committing partner, if possible, should try to regain trust through clear communication, apology, promises, etc. The Definition of an Affair have this angle of healing as well.
Conclusion
An affair is a very multilayered dispute which should be prevented in the first place at any cost. Considering the aftermath of the situation it is wise and morally correct to use the traditional way of separation such as divorce instead of finding a solution and peace in an affair. If it happens at all then couples should try to ease the situation by clear communication as separation post affair will not be beneficial for both parties at any cost. At last if it is not stoppable at all then couples should obtain professional help instead of trying to cope with the problem on their own. Hope this clears The Definition of an Affair.
