Swiping on Tinder is all fun and games until you realize it is up to you to send out the first message. Instead of actually waiting for creative openers to roll in or feeling as if the pressure is equally placed on both parties to say something clever rather than the boring “hey”, Tinder has put the ball entirely in your court. Your mind may be riddled with questions, like what to say on Tinder, but don’t worry; this blog aims to provide you with effective ideas for starting a conversation on this online dating app.
You need to have the perfect bio, pick out the best pictures and master your way out of the complicated algorithms. But does anyone actually have ideas on starting a conversation on Tinder effectively?
Here are some tips on talking to people on dating apps, the best conversation starters, and what to avoid saying. It is a way that guarantees replies and can help you find love in the end.
Follow through on these tips for starting a conversation on Tinder without the awkwardness:
Get into the specifics of the person’s profile.
Studies show that using sentences or phrases such as “I noticed that” or “you mentioned” showcases that you are really interested in that person and are looking through their profile. This also results in higher response rates on dating apps. As people love it when they feel like the other person’s paying attention, this may make them feel really special.
You can also use the information that your match has shared and break that into a conversation subtly.
Ask about where they are from.
When you are talking to someone for the first time, it is essential to show that you are interested to know more about them. This would actually mean learning more about where they are from and what truly is their background.
The most important thing to ask is, “Where are you from originally” because everyone has a story to tell.
Feel free to flirt or appreciate them.
Never hesitate in flirting or complimenting someone if you genuinely think they are fantastic and you are interested in them. Don’t be so straightforward that you start complimenting their physical aspects, as that may come off as creepy. General compliments offer breathing space in an open conversation and can be good for starting a conversation on Tinder. Try something like –
- “Is that you working out? You must be quite a fitness junkie.”
- “Damn, you went skiing? I wish I had skiing skills like that.
The pictures on Tinder are great conversation starters. Talking about their pictures can be one of the great tinder openers.
Ask open-ended questions.
Asking open-ended questions to the other person provides more opportunities for a conversation where you can get a better sense of who the person is. It can be something as broad as asking someone how their life is right now, what their goals are, what their hobbies are, etc.
Share what you are looking for in a person.
If you are on Tinder and know what you want, it might help to let the other person know of your intentions and see if they are aligned with it. You must ask them what their intentions with the app are as well, and you may find someone with similar interests.
You can start with a compliment.
Try to pick out the photos that you liked when you saw them and put effort into complimenting them for it. Open and insert compliments but do not overdo it. Nobody is paying you, and sometimes it becomes too cheesy to always get a compliment. Excite the other person instead of boring them with a ton of compliments
Try to send a message that does not look like a broadcast.
Try to pinpoint an image or piece of bio-information, so they know that it isn’t a copy-paste job. Having a person who sends the same message to everyone is a turnoff. Making someone feel special is essential, and you can do that by putting effort.
Don’t be afraid to take the first leap of faith.
Waiting for the first move is boring and shows that you are scared to make the first move. Guys who want confident girls like to be messaged first. You don’t have anything to lose. So man up and message the person you are genuinely interested in. If you’re initiating the first message on Tinder, you can come off as bold yet approachable.
Invoking emotion from a stranger can be a surprise.
You can make the conversation memorable by invoking happy emotions. Talk to them about something daring or even plan something for the future. Ask them what their ideal date would be. Please don’t be creepy and tell them you stalk them. Emote that you love their dog or cat if you match with a girl or boy with a pet.
Ask a deep question.
If you feel like you don’t want vague and surface-level conversations, then you can ask something like, “What has impacted your life in the most meaningful way.”
You will get a good idea of the personality of the other person in a better manner since they might be flippant with their response, or they may be sincere.
If they share something truly meaningful and genuine with you, then it is a good sign if you are looking for a serious partner with no fear of commitment.
Check your grammar and spelling.
You can keep the tone of the conversation casual, and a few typos are normal, but if it is overtly bad, then it might seem icky. You might be tempting them to correct your grammar, and not everyone likes a grammar Nazi, especially during the initial stage of starting a conversation on Tinder.
See the in-app features.
If they have embedded their Spotify playlist, then connect over the music and artists you both might have in common. Music is a great conversation starter, and it can set the tone for a deep connection in the long run.
Find similarities.
Opposites do attract but finding similarities is always a good idea for starting a conversation. Common interests like you both play guitar or you both love coffee can give you something to connect over and share information.
Don’t be a cliché.
Get away from the cliched ‘What’s up Tinderella?’ Or ‘Want to Netflix and chill?’ as they are bad opening lines for dating apps. Those don’t work anymore and make you seem fake. Everyone has experienced these once in a while now, and it is no longer desirable.
Be straightforward.
Be straightforward and do not lie about your physical attributes. You might think it doesn’t make a difference, but it makes you come off as fake. Lying about your height by exaggerating a little might seem harmless, but it might later come off as a big red flag. You should stay true to yourself and let the right person connect.
Be witty.
Keep up with the trending shows and movies, or bring up the classics to evoke a conversation. Talking about movies or shows is one of the greatest ways to start a convo. Talk about your favorite superhero or whether ‘The Office’ is better than ‘Friends’ and see how the conversation simply flows.
What are the Dos and Don’ts of tinder conversation starters?
Here are some of the things you should consider while having a conversation.
Do’s
Keep your message short and straightforward: Don’t write long paragraphs, and don’t make it too formal. It’s supposed to be casual so show your chill side.
Ask questions: Do not write hi or hey, but ask questions about things you are genuinely interested in knowing.
Use humor: Create a humorous conversation but make sure you don’t offend the other person.
Stay positive: Don’t be discouraged if your matches are scarce. It takes time, but there is no shortage of potential matches. Just stay positive and be honest, straightforward, funny, and true to yourself. The right person will come along to make you realize why it didn’t work with others.
Don’ts:
Call them ‘hottie’ or ‘cutie’: Don’t be overly flirtatious when you are just starting. That does sit well with people. Make a conversation where you’re genuinely complimenting what you see. Don’t comment on the body unnecessarily in the beginning.
Follow up if you don’t get a reply: Give them some time to reply. It might be that they are busy. You can move on to someone else, don’t keep sending messages as it seems desperate.
Copy a pick-up line from a famous meme: Send gifs and memes renowned for starting a good conversation.
Be condescending: Pick-up lines like ‘The more I drink, the more beautiful you look’ are downright rude. Think twice before sending the first message on Tinder. Also, remember that just because you didn’t get a response; doesn’t mean you become mean and say something rude. It just confirms that they dodged a bullet by not texting you. Do not send condescending messages, PERIOD.
Conversation starters with a guy
Don’t be afraid to start the conversation first if you are a girl. Take charge and be the first to message with something quirky and interesting. Browse through their profile and find something to talk about instead of the usual ‘Hey’. Also, you can take help from the below-mentioned best convo starter Tinder and see how the response time becomes quick.
- We seem like a good match. There are so many things in common between us that I can’t wait to start.
- Your job seems super interesting. What exactly does it consist of?
- I am fascinated by the color of your eyes.
- Love how fun your photos look. Where exactly did you take this particular one?
- I see you are into sports. Which is your favorite team?
- If you could have one extra hour every day. What would you do?
- I see you love trying new cuisine. What’s the weirdest food you have ever tried?
- Let’s get the important stuff out of the way – Marvel or DC fan?
- Are you new here or have lived here for a while?
- Can you recommend some good coffee places around here?
- So, what brings you here on Tinder?
- You look cute, I just had to message you first.
- Do you wish your pets could talk?
- What’s the last song you heard?
- I see you travel a lot. Is it for work, or do you just happen to have a cool life?
Starting a conversation on Tinder with a girl like a pro
Starting a conversation with a girl on Tinder might seem easy, but you have to make that first impression to get a response. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and girls have no shortage, especially on dating apps. You have to stand out among the crowd with perfect tinder openers and grab their attention from the start. It has to be the perfect amount of quirky, funny, smart, and flirty to get a response.
- Don’t be mad just yet, but I have never heard of Taylor Swift.
- Is this match a better love story than Twilight or what?
- Are you a ‘coffee date person’ or a ‘let’s go to the club person?
- I see you love reading. Which is your all-time favorite book?
- You have such a beautiful smile. How do I bring it out?
- One thing I can promise is I would happily kill the spiders for you but prefer if we relocate them outside.
- We have to figure out a story to tell our parents about how we met.
- Patience is a virtue, but I just couldn’t wait any longer to message you.
- See what your beautiful eyes did? Made me forget the pick-up line.
- This seems like love at first swipe. Sorry, not sorry!
- Your cat looks fun to hang out with. Can you give her my number?
- I don’t believe in mixed signals. Can I interest you in some memes?
- Which Powerpuff girl character are you?
- If you could be anywhere in the world in just a blink of an eye, where would you want to be?
- What’s the worst pick-up line you heard here?
Final thoughts
Try to make a conversation that you would have in real life. People often hide behind chat screens and act weird, and that’s not how online dating works. It’s a big turnoff to know that you cannot have a pleasant conversation without looking too eager.
Have a simple conversation, ask meaningful questions, and sound genuine. These were a few tried and tested prompts for starting a conversation on Tinder that will help you avoid the first move awkwardness. These can be among the best bumble openers as well.
